Babies are born looking like their mother or father. Although, sometimes a stray great-great grandparent’s genes will surprise their way to the top of the gene pool because genetics are weird like that. As the baby grows, the toddler emerges and a personality forms. The personality may be up to genetics – or not. Some personality traits may be a learned behavior.
And some personality traits may be sent from the stars above on the day the baby is born. Astrology is the belief that the positions of the stars and movements of the planets have an influence on the events, lives and behavior of people. People including your kids.
What kind of child will the cosmos give you? Let’s find out.
Aries
March 21 – April 19
Impatient but innovative
Ah, yes. The backpack kid. Aries kids are impatient when it comes to waiting on anything other than their own schedule. You will need screens, books, Legos, Play-doh, Crayons, that tiny acorn they made you keep from last spring and maybe throw in a whistle for good measure. What else do you got in there? This kid needs to be entertained at all times. As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries are also known to be great at starting projects. It’s just that you’ll be finishing them. Hide the glitter.
Taurus
April 20 – May 20
Stubborn but trustworthy
As the “bull” of the zodiac, Taurus kids are known for clinging onto their ideals and your leg while you’re at Target buying an emergency pregnancy test. A Taurus or the “bulls,” refuse to lower their standards for anyone. Can you do this? Can you have another baby after a stubborn Taurus? Good luck. You can, by the way. As one of the most “fixed” signs of the zodiac, they are also very loyal friends at playdate groups. You’re just probably never leaving that play date group. Make friends with the parents.
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Impulsive but adaptable
So your Taurus kid loves their loyal playdate groups. Your Gemini will have 900 different circles of friends. Playdate friends, cousins, school friends, the FedEx man, the grocery store clerk, preschool teachers. Drop the kid literally anywhere and they’ll make a friend with a bug crawling on the street. That would be a Gemini kid playfully throwing food at the annoyed child-less couple at a restaurant. They are adaptable to any environment. They’ll charmingly ask, “Did you poop or pee?” to every person washing their hands in a public bathroom.
Cancer
June 21 – July 22
Brooding but fiercely loyal
The crabs of the zodiac, these hard-shelled kids are giant babies that never grow up. They hold onto grudges. Oh yes, young kids know what grudges are. If you tell them it’s time to leave a wedding reception, like most kids, a Cancer kid will say no. When you say yes and pick her up, she will look you dead in the eye and pee on the side of your $300 ball gown. On the plus side, once you have a Cancer kid in your life they are there for a while. They are fiercely loyal and will not leave your home until they’re 37 years old.
Leo
July 23 – Aug. 22
Extra but encouraging
With their ruling planet being the sun, sometimes these tiny lions think the world revolves around them and they will have no problem telling you that at midnight, 3 a.m., 4:30 a.m. and 7 a.m. “WAKE UP, MOMMY! PLAY WITH ME!” will be your alarm clock. You might as well have The Lion King’s “The Circle of Life” playing on headphones around your pregnant-with-a-Leo belly. But remember, Leos will share their spotlight. They are some of the most encouraging and supportive people you will ever meet. “Yay, Mom! You pooped in the potty!” You need to clap with him. He’s encouraging you.
Virgo
Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
Critical but devoted
Repeat after me, “Hi, my daughter will be late to school because there’s a bump in her sock.” Being the perfectionist of the zodiac isn’t easy but someone has to do it. Who is this child? An uptight miniature adult? Hands can never be “yucky.” Sitting on grass is “yucky.” Don’t even imagine what a teenage Virgo is like. The hair will be hair sprayed to perfection. Once you are in the good graces of a Virgo they are very sweet and kind humans. These kiddos know their please and thank yous. And they should after they made you get a new plate because the pasta sauce was touching their corn.
Libra
Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Indecisive but great listener
Get this in your head – do not ask a Libra a question using the word “or.” Do you want a blue ball or red ball? The Libra won’t know the answer. Do you want to go to the water park or go to the zoo? Both. A Libra’s answer will be both and that’s a little bit too much family fun on a Saturday. Do you want mom or dad to take you to school? The Libra will cry because you’re really asking him who he loves more. If you get them in a conversation one-on-one they are the best listeners in the world. Storytime at night is the perfect time to cuddle with the sweet Libra but storytime will last three hours so…
Scorpio
Oct. 22 – Nov. 21
Intense but protective
Hide the black nail polish. These are the goth kids of the zodiac. Scorpios only know one level of operating and it is intense. Bringing your Scorpio baby to Christmas with the extended family will result in everyone “awwwing” at your new baby even though your baby will never smile and look at others with a dead-pan stare. And honestly, you’ll be a little jealous they can pull this off and still be called adorable. Scorpio kids are fiercely protective of the people they let into their circle. No one better mess with that (still) adorable Scorpio’s siblings.
Sagittarius
Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Unreliable but intelligent
Da-da-da-da-da-Dora! Known as the adventurers of the zodiac, Sagittarius kids will repeat “Mom, I’m borrrreedddd.” Putting Sagittarius kids in one location could result in a tantrum (at any age) so you better start scrolling Facebook events on kid-friendly events in Kansas City until they’re old enough to drive on their own. If you give a Sagittarius their freedom, you will see the sky's the limit for their mind. Just make sure to always hold a Sagittarius kid’s hand when you are ready to leave; they might just take off on their own and you better run FAST, mama.
Capricorn
Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
Judgmental but a fixer
“My daddy lost all his hair on top.” “Mommy, stop singing. It hurts my ears.” Does it seem like your Capricorn is constantly judging you? He is. While a Capricorn might not mean any harm in what they announce at the top of their lungs at a restaurant – “THIS FOOD IS GROSSSSS!” They will help you fix your life in ways you never knew you needed. You’ll never need to worry if you have food stuck in your teeth. That Capricorn is keeping an eye on your teeth like it’s a game of Eye Spy.
Aquarius
Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
Aloof but a humanitarian
You can never tell what an Aquarius kid is thinking even if they’re happy. That baby tooth they just lost? They’ll hand you the tooth and hold the other hand out hand for money. And you thought they still believed in the tooth fairy. Yet, they’re not always hard to read. They are the kids that insist on taking home the whole litter of puppies at the pet store. If you say no to puppies, they’ll want the snake. And they will always, ALWAYS, ask you to let the giant spider in their room outside instead of killing it. Hope you like watching that 8-legged arachnid crawl away from your house.
Pisces
Feb. 19 – March 20
Crybaby but imaginative
Pisces are the dreamers of the zodiac and are known to have psychic powers – you’re warned. Halloween with a Pisces is exciting at your home. It’s their favorite holiday and not because of candy. Candy helps though. If you have a Civil War child ghost living with you, the Pisces kid will let you know. If not a child ghost, imaginary friends tend to run with the Pisces kids. If you look at the Pisces too long, they might burst into tears. But on the plus side, it’s not because they’re scared of ghosts.
I’ll tell you my kids aren’t exactly in line with their astrological depictions, but pretty darn close. While many people don’t put much stock into the zodiac signs, it’s a great way to learn about your child’s strengths. Test to see if they are truly like their signs infer! Let us know what you think in the comments.
