Modeling inclusivity this holiday season

As parents, we really are modeling the way. Children not only observe, and sometimes follow, our words. They notice what we do, how we respond, how we treat others and who we include. This time of year can be jam-packed with anxiety. Our schedules get full, sometimes we overload our resources and meanwhile children are watching. Be mindful that sometimes in moments of stress, it can be hard to remember kindness. But kindness is paramount, not just during these months, but all year, and for our neighbors as well our very own family.  

In the work of developing communities that are authentically inclusive, the holiday season provides many opportunities to demonstrate positive behaviors for children. Young people learn about the world from a self-centered viewpoint. This does not mean they are not considerate of others, but they are learning about themselves first and then learning similar patterns in others. Remember, children are new here! 

A great place to start coaching inclusivity for your children is to ensure they know things about themselves and your family. Do you talk with your child about your family heritage? What traditions do you all enjoy together? Are there any unique hobbies that make your family happy or fill your home with joy? These storytelling moments allow for great serve-and-return and help your child develop a positive foundation of self. 

Children are natural seekers of patterns. Pattern and rhythm provide a sense of security for their young bodies. When you are at the store, watching a movie or reading books, ask your child about the traditions, joy and perceived lives of others. You might say things like, “Oh, I see they are getting flour, too. Do you think they might be making cookies like us?”  

If you have the opportunity, read some diverse books about holidays and see if your child can observe similarities and differences. Sometimes these books may not be a part of our usual rotation; in this case, the public library could be a fantastic resource for a family outing! Your child will begin learning everyone has differences as they watch the world around them.  

They will normalize being different. This is beautiful! What you do, say, don’t do and don’t say about these differences is key. Are you also curious about the clothes of this family in their celebration? Are you welcoming of your own family members who say different prayers at this time of year? Children will pick up on who comes over on the holidays and who does not. It is not reasonable to expect any parent to be an expert on all holidays and traditions from across the globe. However, if we are modeling inclusivity for our children, we will practice welcoming language and authentic celebration of all families finding joy.